Due to personal connections in Heaven we are able to provide a transcript of the conversation last night between Michele Bachmann and God.
M: I am very disappointed, my Lord, at your failure to support my nomination for president. I have several of my own biological children and have worked with nearly two dozen foster children. Certainly, that qualifies me to become president of the United States!
G: Michele, my daughter, leading a nation requires more skills and knowledge than raising children.
M: But, I worship you every day. I pray to you every day, does that Romney, who belongs to the Mormon religion pray to you?
G: I think his main prayers are to the God of money, but that is besides the point. One must have knowledge and leadership skills to be president in these difficult times. Michele, in fairness, you are not the smartest kid on the block.
M: I got elected to Congress. I got elected as head of the cheerleaders. I got elected to head the women’s group in our church, what more do you want from me?
G: Well, there are dangers in the Middle East, there are dangers in global changes that require a leader who actually believes in science.
B: Science is the work of the Devil, himself. I am shocked that you above all, would believe in science.
G: I am God which means I am part of science. Michele, the world on Earth began millions of years ago.
M: That’s no what my pastor says, he says life on Earth began several thousands of years ago. Say, who are you, anyway? Are you really God?
G: I regret to admit that I am God. I just didn’t realize when I began life on Earth it would result in you, Rick, Rick, Newt, Mitt and Herman emerging as leaders of a nation. I think somewhere along the way, that Devil got into the mix and ruined the notion of intelligent life forms.
M: As far as I am concerned, you are the Devil himself! I want to become president! I am entitled to become President! I am the most qualified! Not a single other candidate was head of the cheerleaders! God damn you to Hell!!