Due to our secret spies in North Korea we are pleased to report an exclusive tale from that faraway land. We can now reveal the secret story of what happened to Kim Jon-un’s uncle who died a mysterious death. Western media claims that Jang Song-thaek was executed because he attempted to overthrow the government of Kim Jong-un as well as seeking to distribute pornography across the land. We intend to present tyne truth, the whole truth and the amazing story of what happened. Following is the real story:
1. Israel Mossad agents including the gorgeous spy, Sarah Sadownick secretly were brought into North Korea by Jang Song-thaeg who had converted to Judaism.
2. After falling in love with Sarah, uncle Jang began to drug his nephew with gallons of chicken soup and force fed him latkas and blintzes.
3. This diet soon transformed Kim into a man consumed with a desire for kosher food and well built Jewish women.
4. Kim and Jang had dozens of synagogues built in North Korea and there was a national program to convert North Koreans into kosher fanatics who enjoyed spending the day studying the Torah.
5. Finally, Dennis Rodman appeared on the scene with basketballs. Once Kim got back to working on his three point shot, the attraction of the softik Sarah disappeared and his days were spent practicing layups.
6. Finally last Monday, Kim awoke from his Jewish fantasy and after meeting Tom Cruise joined the Scientology religion and decided to end Judaism in his wonderful nation. It was then necessary to kill Uncle Jang and spare North Koreans life with latkas!