Final Report On MH370

This investigator refuses to allow the tragic flight of MH370 go unreported. We have spent countless hours off the coast of Australia, Brazil and in New Mexico in search of the plane which, allegedly crashed into the ocean. We are now able to reveal the secret as to what happened to MH370.

We can now authoritatively state without fear of contradiction there is absolutely no information about this plane or what happened to it. Just think, a day without an hypothesis concerning this plane.

Of course, it is possible there never was a plane. Or, was the entire story made up by ÇNN to keep people watching CNN?

Tune in tomorrow for no news about a non-existent story.

So, quit worrying about something that never happened.