Free Elections-A No, No

I am now free to reveal a secret mission that enabled me to provide free advice to the government of Russia. Moscow Mayor Seergei Sobyanin asked my assistance in dealing with a pesky problem casued by the nutty idea of a member of his government who thought it might be interesting to conduct an honest election. I was rather concerned about such an event because once the idea of free elections is allowed it opens the possibility of having the opposition win the election. Why, in God’s name, would one conduct an election which allows the possible triumph of the bad guys? The entire purpose of an election is to make clear to one and all that I am the man who runs this town.This guy, Alexi Navalny claims to have obtained 633,000 votes to the mayor’s 1.2 million votes. Anyone who can do simple math understands that translates into 27% of the vote for Navalny.

It is time to return to the days of free elections in which those in power freely gain the victory. I believe we need some education reform that results in “math for victors” becoming the official math taught to children. For each vote cast by one person the “good guy” gets two votes and we deduct one vote from the “bad guy.” This is what we term, “modern math.”