Gingrich Experiences A Pearl Harbor

Newt Gingrich, an inhabitant of the state of Virginia was unable to persuade 10,000 fellow inhabitants who are Republicans to sign a petition asking the state to place his name on the March 6th Republican primary ballot. Newt is upset at this dastardly attack on his sense of importance. His campaign director, Mike Krull, explained the historic meaning of this stab in the back of a great American by thousands of not so great Americans. “Newt and I agreed that the analogy is December, 1941(Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in which thousands died). We have experienced an unexpected setback.”

America has to understand that Newt Gingrich is a noted historian whose works will undoubtedly eventually earn him every history award that is given. For some reason, not a single history award has gone his way. I believe this is another analogy to Pearl Harbor. The Japanese did not stab him in the back, but Obama secret agents went around Virginia paying millions of  Virginians not to write in the name of Newt Gingrich nor did any group handing out awards for history books place his name on their ballots.

Newt, a better analogy to what happened in Virginia is the Holocaust. But, thank God, due to your rather heavy body weight there is no fear that starvation will cause your death.