We have received documentation from secret sources that Ms. Betty Smith, one of the Russians involved in a massive spy ring did on March 15, 2008 steal the blueberry pie recipe of her neighbor, Mrs. Alice Johnson. This information was sent by a courier in the Russian embassy to officials in Moscow. Now we know how and why Russia is engaged in export of blueberry pies. Christopher Metros, the alleged paymaster of this notorious fiends skipped bail in Cyprus and when last seen was headed for Turkey or Somalia or God knows where. We assume he will attempt to sell his recipes to other governments interested in destroying America’s lead in pie production. It has now become known that spy Donald Heathfield assumed that name from a dead child in Canada and has been using this important name in order to obtain contacts with key US government officials. It is reported he had a meeting with someone who knows something about nuclear weapons and they discussed either this topic over lunch or the quality of their vegetable soup.
Anyone can access the Internet and obtain information about nuclear weapons. But, the Russian government which is negotiating with the American government to destroy nuclear weapons, has spies out to find out about the nuclear weapons that are being destroyed. This is very clear and one must admit rather creative thinking on the part of Russian officials. Are there any Russian spies in BP? Perhaps, they can inform us how to destroy an oil rig and pollute an entire region.
Flash! We can now report that Russian spies have discovered the formula for Coca Cola and soon will unleash this secret weapon in order to destroy an American business legend.