The people of America can sleep peacefully in their beds tonight, the infamous gang of 10 spies have been sent packing and are on their way back to Moscow. Of course, where else but in the dark alleys of Vienna on a dark evening could such an exchange occur? Ten spies who have spent the better half of a decade pretending to be normal Americans will soon be in Moscow while the United States will receive four men who did some spying or did something that made them important to the US government. Reports indicate those returning from America will get their jobs back and receive a stipend of at least $2,000 a month. It is still unclear how this episode impacts innocent children who thought they were normal American kids and now discover they really are normal Russian kids. There are unconfirmed reports the Russian government will shortly establish the Putin Pie Company which intends to use recipes stolen from the United States by these daring spies, and the Russian people will be eating blueberry and apple pie that is American as any pie can be .
There are some Americans like yours truly who are upset about this exchange. The Russians receive a beautiful red headed gorgeous woman and the United States receives a balding guy named, Igor. Russians get access to pictures of the Statue of Liberty and the Rocky Mountains, but America doesn’t even receive a single snapshot of the Kremlin! This entire episode is simply another example of Barack Obama’s spineless behavior when it comes to standing up for this country. First, Wall Street bankers, now, gorgeous read heads! Shame on you, Barack, go back to Africa!