We have endured for years a constant stream of attacks by those who term themselves, “Islamic militants.” Just last week, six men from Algeria were caught planning to assassinate the Pope during his visit to England. They daily blow themselves up along with anyone within standing distance in order to prove they can blow themselves up. I have often pondered the possibility of establishing a World Blowing Oneself Up Contest in which the person who does the best job of blowing himself up would get a prize–a gold plated casket for whatever remains of his body parts. But, the latest episode of threats to blow oneself up have gone too far! OK, blow yourself up and kill the Pope, fine, that we can live with. But, the Indian Muhahideen have now threatened to attack the Commonwealth games in India! Fellows, disrupting our sport events is a step too far on the road to violence. We have no problem with you guys finding an open field far from the Commonwealth Games and blowing yourselves up. Go right ahead. In fact, we are willing to televise any such events if that makes you happy.
BUT, STAY AWAY FROM THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES!!