Each week we offer headlines that appeared in the world press with some accompanying comments of our own.
England, Manchester Guardian: “Bears Eat Two Workers in Russia”
I think this is fair given how many bears are eaten by Russian workers.
Sweden, The Local: “Serial Killer Gets Life For Gay Killing”
I gather he was rather unhappy at hearing the news.
Qatar, Gulf Times: ‘Memorial To Bomb Victims”
I am curious, exactly how will the memorial bomb the victims?
Australia, West Australian: “Ghost Ship Relatives Want Answers”
I don’t think there is a ghost of a chance they will get them.
Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Deported Workers To Get Rights”
In Kuwait, we give rights to workers after they are deported.
Norway, Aftenposten: “British Trawlers Dump Fish”
The Catholic sailors realized it was not Friday.
Sweden, The Local: “Motorcycle Hit By Flying Elk”
The Elk had the right of way.
Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Chicken Recalled”
Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Missing Link Found In Sydney Harbor”
It was lying right next to the missing WMD.
South Africa, Mail & Guardian: “A Fool’s Game”
The one played by Bush in Iraq.
Canada, Toronto Star: “Top Prosecutors Form Child Death Unit”
I gather it’s task is making sure enough children get killed this year.
Malta, Malta Today: “Only In It For The Money”
American housing lenders who bilk the public.
Bangladesh, Daily Star: “Criminal Snatched From Police”
At least they were nice enough not to snatch any police.
Qatar, Gulf Times: “Prisoners Sleep On Toilets”
This allows them to flush away their dreams.
Australia, Canberra Times: “Pope Bids Farewell To Australia”
Let’s give three Hail Marys for the event.
Russia, Moscow Times: “Good Theater Is Bad For Stock Market”
Heck, I’ll take bad theater to get a better stock market.