Each week we offer selections from the world press along with our own comments.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Student Forced To Have Sex Before Plunge”
At least he was upright when he fell.

Qatar, Arab Times: “Wife Arrested Over Headless Body On Bus”

Sweden, The Local: “Diarrhea No Excuse For Speeding”
Depends if your the cop or the shitter.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Snappy Thinking Saves Alligator”
Unfortunately, the snappy thinking snapped off the head of a man.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “British National Day Planned”
No Yanks or other colonials allowed.

Norway, Aftenposten: “Time To Go McCain”
Please take the woman with you who is gazing out the window toward Russia.

UK, The Independent: “Mom-The Cheetah Is Eating My Bike”
It caught your cheating husband.

Australia, Canberra Times: “Japan Bars Naked Short Selling”
One must be fully clothed while on the floor selling and buying stocks.

UK, Guardian: “Sarkozy Leads Fight To Bar Voodoo Doll”
Yep, the stock market is collapsing, but it is important to get the voodoo dolls!

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Secret Out HOw To Make People Vote”
Pay them.

USA, Yahoo: “Bowler Dies After Hurling Perfect Game”
Strike three and your out of here.

Sweden, The Local: “Queen Defends Husband Over Wolf Row”
This is not a story to howl about.

Norway, Aftenposten: “Norwegians Tighten Belts”
That’s what come for eating a fish diet.