Each week we offer a review of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our unique comments.

Headlines From The World Press

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Police Catch Criminal After 30 Years”
Slow and methodical is our slogan.

Norway, Aftenbladet: “Room Crisis At Crisis Center”
This center deals with those whose rooms have a crisis and need help.

Finland, Helsinki Times: “Baby Born On Finnair Flight”
He was named Jesus.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Tax Breaks For Wealthiest”
They were down to their last five million.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Lesbian Murderers Separated In Jail”
Exactly which crime could they commit after murdering–kissing?

China, China Daily: “Inadequate Sex Spurs Crime”
For whom, the one wanting or the one refusing?

UK, Guardian: “Go Home And Procreate”
It can’t be any worse than the job you do here.

Australia, The Age: “Man Stabbed For Refusing To Give Cigarettes”
He belongs to the anti-cancer society.

Netherlands, Dutch News: “Crooks Get Own Website”
Check with them for the property that was stolen from your house.

Australia, Canberra Times: “Boy Friend Attacks Lover Over Her Big Knockers”
I guess he is more of a butt than a breast man.

Finland, Sanomat: “Finland’s Newest Harbor To Open”
No ships allowed, it is a harbor.

Sweden, The Local: “Condom Ad Banned”
By whom, the male or the female?

Australia, The Age: “Conductor Dies Suddenly”
He reached the last stop.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Liver Conference Held”
Want to buy one or just rent one out?

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Man Caught With Penis In Pasta”
You should have seen what he got caught in the ketchup!