Each week, we offer headlines that appeared in the world press as well as our comments.

Headlines From The World Press

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Shrimp Season Is Back”
No political leader over five feet tall is allowed to hold public office.

Norway, Aftenposten: “Bad Week For Bears”
Goldilocks brought her friends with her.

China, China Daily: “Man Charged With Being Too Close To Wife”
This is one marriage that will never have to worry about lots of kids.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Toilet Stops Halt Quantas”
I guess shitting is more important than flying.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Danes Active In Terrorism Abroad”
Heck, kill someone other than a Dane.

Qatar, Kuwait Times: “Useful Tips For Expat Drivers”
Drink the water but kill the locals.

Argentine, Buenos Aires Herald: “Government Drought Aid For Farmers”
Follow government directions and your farm is sure to suffer from the drought.

Australia, Canberra Times: “Hormones Improve Older Women Sex Drive”
It would be nice if the older men also got some hormones.

Sweden, The Local: “Swedish Pastor Leads Cowboy Sect”
They round up the heretics and brand them.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Handcuffed For Failing To Return Library Books”
Gee, what happens if you deface one– life imprisonment?

Canada, Toronto Star: “Staff Risks Firing For Hoarding Diapers”
They must sit around doing a lot of shitting instead of working.

Australia, The Age: “Hooker Wins Gold Medal At Olympics”
I didn’t know they gave gold medals for hooking. I’ll have to tell some women I know about that.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Life Bus Off Woman”
If your name is Lois Lane, you know for sure Superman will come to your rescue.

Bahrain, Gulf Times: “Spanish Prince Says I Am A Princess”
He got kissed by a female frog.

Australia, West Australia: “Howard Says He Is Not A Coward
Idiot, his name is Howard, not Coward.

Sweden, The Local: “Swedish Pedestrians Receive Message From God
Cross at the red light and I’ll see you soon.