Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Email-You’re Fired”
Could you please substitute an “h” for the “f?”

Indonesia, Jakarta Post: “Guard Dismissed On Suspicion of Murder”
I guess he goes home if he is convicted of murder.

UK, Guardian: “University Teacher Budgets Cut”
Well, that is one way to reduce global warming of too much hot air being exhaled.

Australia, Brisbane Times: ‘Tutarkhamen “Finds His Mummy”
Now, could we find his puppy?

Turkey, Zaman: “McDonald’s Celebrates 25 Years in Turkey”
25 years of fattening foods for the body and none for the mind.

South Africa, Argus: “Durban Mortuary Too Full”
Pass a law forbidding dying.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: Basra Bars Beggars”
I guess that does it for Wall Street in Basra.

UK, The Independent: “Rise In Exam Cheats”
I prefer exam cheats over banker cheats.

Russia, Moscow Times: “War and Peace Staged In Scotland”
I wonder if they could do a performance in Afghanistan.

China, China Daily: “More Marriages, More Divorces”
I guess one inevitably leads to the other.

Israel, Ha’aretz: “Abduct Woman’s Corpse”
The abduction was carried out by Meyer Dracula and Sarah Vampire.

Canada, Toronto Star: “Wise Girls Settle For Mr. Good Enough”
And, do wise men settle for Ms. Good Enough?