Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

USA, Army Times: “Abducted Linguist Returns Home”
Speechless, I assume

UK, The Independent: “Farmer Killed By Cows”
Stop the squeezing for God’s sake.

Australia, West Australian: “First Easter Fatality”
Jesus Christ?

Liberia, Liberian Observer: “Cement Shortage Looms”
Well, that’s good news for gangsters.

Ireland, Independent: “Boob Job Lies”
I intend to put my hands on this story.

USA, NY Daily News: “Woods: I Lied To Myself”
I have a hunch his wife has a different version.

UK,Guardian: “Dead Body On Plane”
I would be upset if it was found in First Class when the ticket said second.

Sweden, The Local: “Protest Car Park Killing”
Bombing a car park,OK, but ‘killing it’ boggles the imagination.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Bye Bye Bees”
Ouch, ouch!

Norway, Norway Post: “Rabbit Abuser Reprimanded”
He was confined to his hole.