We offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Ireland, Independent: “Elderly Man Left Behind”
Physically, not necessarily, mentally.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “What To Do With Drunken Sailor:
Elect him to Congress?

Sweden, The Local: “Rabbit Torture Trial Begins”
Life eating lettuce.

Canada, Toronto Star: “Computer Ailing”
How about some chicken soup?

USA, NY Daily News: “Cops Banned From Penis Enlargement”
I assume it gets in the way when shooting or is it, it shoots too fast?

South Africa, Argus: “Stabbed In Fight Over Onions”
This is one smelly story I will ignore.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Blood On Big Mac Burger”
Some bleeding heart was making the burgers.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Morgue Gang Guilty Of Murder”
Why travel when it is right there and already killed?

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Serial Rapist Acquitted
If he was never convicted then he is not a serial rapist.