Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

South Africa: “Toilet Man Told To Provide Details”
Sounds like a shitty story to me.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Drug Dealers Hired By Police.”
That’s one way to deal with the drug problem, hire them.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Sex Moves To Web”
I can guarantee this sex will not lead to babies.

Finland, Helsinki Times: “Introduce Tax On Sweets”
This sounds like a sour idea to me.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Sport Director Spent $4,500 On Breakfasts”
Jerk, you begin the day with a healthy, not an expensive breakfast!

Indonesia, Jarkata Post: “Investigate Me All You Want”
I doubt if anyone at Goldman Sachs made this statement.

China, China Daily: “Chicken Nuggets Safe”
Whew, this is a relief to the folk at McDonald’s.

Ireland, Independent: “Girl Gets Tiger Autograph”
Of course, in so doing she lost an arm.

Sweden, The Local: “98 Year Old Issued Death Certificate”
At age, 80, this is my dream when I am 98.

South Africa, Mail &Guardian: “I’m Your Fan”
Sorry, Lebron, this is no longer the feeling of fans in Cleveland.