Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

China, China Daily: “Probe Panda Death”
Some people will pander to any animal.

Denmark, Copenhagen Post: “Painted Penis”
If it is the penis of Rudy Giuliani it must be green to match his love for money.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Tobacco Wars”
Four powerful coughs for this one.

Finland, Sanomat: “Rape Case Ends With Marriage”
Hopefully, the bride does not return with further evidence of rape.

Norway, Norway Post: “Losing Control”
Sounds like a comment about our president.

UK, Guardian: “Turbulent Times”
For any American who believes in common sense.

Sweden, The Local: “Nigeria Can Beat Anyone”
Certainly, when it comes to government corruption.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “One Gigantic Offer”
Tiger Woods offering to cease his escapades with women.

Finland, Sanomat: “Villains And Much More”
An excellent description of Republicans in Congress.

Canada, Toronto Star: “Fake Cop Demands Bribes”
In that case, I will give him fake money.

South Africa, Argus: “Suspect Killed In Court”
Talk about swift justice!

UK, The Independent: “Masturbation A Sin?”
I don’t know, but it sure brings pleasure into the world.