Each week we offer a review of headlines that appeared in the world press.

Finland, Helsinki Times: “Virgin Spaceflights”
Is the flight a virgin experience or is it those who are flying it virgins.

Denmark,Copenhagen Post: “Fight Over Dog Droppings”
How about asking Bernie Madoff to clean up this mess?

South Africa, Argus: “Alleged Robbers Caught In Act”
If they are “alleged, how can they be caught in the act?

Sweden, The Local: “Swimsuit Ruled Sexist”
I guess it depends on what you seek in a swimsuit.

Romania, Seven Times. ro: “Dracula Promotes Tourism”
The cost is a pint of blood and the train leaves at midnight.

Czech Republic, Prague Post: “Crisis Cuts Price Of Chalets”
Wow, that makes my day, lower price chateaus!!

Indonesia, Jakarta Post: “President Apologizes For Traffic Congestion”
I wish our president only had to apologize for traffic congestion.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Woman Eats Friend After Drink”
I assume that was the appetizer.

Yemen, Yemen Times: “Moratorium On Evil”
I have a hunch, evil has just begun in the financial world.

Kuwait, Arab Times: “Eunuch Reveals Secrets”
This is much ado about nothing.

UAR, Gulf Times: “Old School Buses Take Off Roads”
As well as any old students still found on them.

Sweden, The Local: “Cops Bake Cake In Nude”
At least we know cops have nothing to hide in this case.

Kenya, Standard: “Sorcerer Rescues Woman From Demons”
Send her to America to rescue us from financial demons.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Shot With Arrow In New York”
Some of those Indians have never really gotten over being swindled out of Manhattan island.

Australia, The Age: “Shark fears For Missing Swimmer”
I’m glad the sharks are worrying about swimmers.

Yemen, Yemen Times: “Yemen Is Origin Of Humankind”
Is that a boast or complaint?

Qatar, Kahleej Times: “Beware Of Imposters”
Particularly if their name begins with Bernie.

Ukraine, Kyiv Post: “Actors Train Spies”
I think that is better training than one receives at the CIA.

China, China Daily: “City Builds Transgender Toilets”
Does this mean I can stand and sit at the same time?