Each week, we offer a review of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our own commentary.
Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: ‘Penis Removed Without Consent”
It is only fair to ask a penis if it wants to be detached from a man’s body.
Norway, Aftenposten: “Moose Hunt Big Business”
Not for the moose.
Yemen, Yemen Times: “To Choose Or Not To Choose An Educated Woman”
We all know how Senator John McCain answered that question.
Australia, West Australian: “Woman Arrested After Chicken Heist”
The police apprehended Mrs. Wolf and her companion, Mr. Mongoose.
Thailand, Bangkok Post: “Jo Lee Bacon Wins Hog Calling Contest”
We certainly know this was not a contest won by a Jewish person.
United Kingdom, Guardian: “Public Toilet Arrest”
First, they go around arresting public toilets, next you know they will imprison showers.
Saudi Arabia, Saudi Gazette: “Saudi Invited To Human Rights Meeting”
When he gets back he will have an invitation for a public lashing meeting.
New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Cheese on Beach Could Be Perfume”
This story smells to high heaven.
Norway, Aftenposten: “Taxis Charge Extra For Being On Time”
Do they charge less for being late?
Finland, Sanomat: “One In Five Pedestrians Crosses On Red”
Just wait until one person makes it across the street, then the rest are open targets.
Australia, Canberra Times: “Aussie Caught In Bali With Drugs”
It would be more shocking if they were caught without drugs.
Russia, Moscow Times: “Timoshenko Mocks Yushchenko”
Are you sure it is not Yushchenko who mocks Timoshenko?”
England, The Independent: “20 reasons To Be Cheerful”
Actually, we have about 110 reasons knowing Bush will be out of our lives.
Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Thief Gives Priest Guilt Feelings”
Three Hail Marys a day for a week as penance.
Oman, Oman Tribune: “Old, Who Me?”
Yes, John you are displaying senility and we haven’t yet reached October.
Qatar, Arab Times: “No Alimony For High Paying Wives”
Does a low paid husband get something?
South Africa, Mercury: “Yes, I Shot My Colleague”
What John McCain wishes he had done after watching Palin on an interview.
Australia, West Australian: “Bush Hits Elephant”
The bus is recuperating very well in the hospital.
Kuwait, Khaleej Times: “Moroccan Blogger Jailed For Disparaging King”
What does he get for telling the truth?
Sweden, The Local: “Happy Meal Toys Hurt Hearing”
Yeh, but what do they do to the stomach?