HEADLINES FROM THE WORLD PRESS

Each day we offer a sample of headlines that appeared in the world press along with our comments.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Jeff Goldblum Not Dead”
He appeared at a press conference to confirm he is not dead. Sleepy, yet, but not dead.

Singapore, Straits Times: “Wife Turns Out To Be Man”
Oh, so that’s why we never could have children!

China, China Daily: “Students Graduate From College”
It would be news if the headline read: “Students Do Not Graduate From College”

South Africa, Argus: “Karate Cops For W. Cape”
Chop, chop, kill, kill.

UK, The Independent: “Mystery Grows About Jackson Death”
Are we certain he is dead?

Russia, Moscow Times: “Church Calls For Debtors To Repay Or Face Hell”
I have a hunch the Devil will be overwhelmed by applicants.

UAR, Arab Times: “Why Do Politicians Cheat?”
I am more interested in why they don’t pass intelligent legislation.

Australia, Canberra Times: “Fans Jailed Over Prayers”
Next time figure out which team gets the prayers.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Women Trained To Sell Lingerie”
I have a hunch in some Muslim nations they have to be trained in how to wear lingerie.