We offer samples of headlines that appeared in the world press, along with our comments.

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald:  “Hostile Penis”

Piss on this story!

Denmark, Copenhagen Post:  “Shape Up Or Ship Out”

Good advice for the American Congress.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Pedophile Wants My Resignation”

I will suck my lollipop while thinking about this story.

USA, Newsday:  “Cannibal Cops”

When these guys find a dead body it is meal time.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald:  “Fitness Challenge”

This is one contest that would welcome all Americans.

Sweden, Local:  “Sue School Over Yoga Program”

This requires quiet reflection.

France, Connexion:  “Poisoned Chalice”

Keep this out of the Conclave!