Headlines Of The Week

Each week we survey the world’s newspapers and offer interesting headlines that appeared in them along with our own commentary.

Australia, The Age: “How To Disappear And Never Be Found”
Just get charged with being a terrorist by the Bush administrationm.

Sweden, The Local: “Conscript Shoots Self In Foot”
Just when he got a job being a runner for headquarters.

Norway, Aftenposten: “Gay Marriage Creates Strange Bedfellows”
Yes it doesn, there was this man and this woman in bed…

Australia, Sydney Morning Post: “Sex First For Fish”
We are pleased to announce the marriage of Mr.Sam Salmon and Ms. Holly

Kuwait, Arab Times: “Court Orders Allowance For Woman”
She is now allowed to whack her bozo husband if he abuses her.

Finland, Sanomat: “Smashes Wheelchair Racing World Record”
He will next be entering the high jump race.

Yemen, Yemen Times: “Virtual Guards Coming”
They will be guarding virtual prisoners.

Australia, Simth.Com: “Virgin Hunter Sentenced For Life”
Was he looking for one or did he want to become one?

Austraiia, The Age: “Flaunt Panites For Peace”
Wave bras for emphasis.

Germany, Der Spiegel: Believe Deer Murdred Red Pandas”
Inspector Wolf has been assigned the case.

Thailand, Bankgkok Post: “Money Isn’t Everything”
Not to Billy Gates it isn’t/.

England, Manchester Guardian: “Mysterey of Three Right Feet Washed Ashore”
I think something has been left out of this story.

Sweden, The Local: “Politicians Call For Mandatory Sex Education In Schools”
Eliott Spitzer has been hired to organize the program.

Australia, Sydney Morning Post: “Woman Jailed For Teapot Worship”
Judge Coffee presided at the case.

Europe, International Heradl Tribune: ‘Lies and Consequences”
Not for the Bush administration, that is.

Switzerland, Basel Zeitung: “Mood At Record Low”
We llive in Bush America, for God’s sake!