There are critics who blast the McDonalds chain for its menu that fosters gains in weight and results in people who are in the fast lane of becoming sick due to their diet. But, a man in Virginia has proven that McDonalds is the home of good eating habits and if only people would spend more time in this wonderful institution the United States could witness a new birth of healthy humans. He does not eat Big Macs or devour their french fries or gulp down milkshakes. No, he eats salads and wraps and apple dippers–minus the caramel sauce, if you please.
Our folk hero of good health selected McDonalds because it was close by which certainly doesn’t come across as a compliment for finding a place with good food to foster good health. He was 278 pounds back in December but thanks to the wonderful McDonalds menu he now comes across as a 199 weakling.
This story has implications for executives at McDonalds. How about a new McDonalds that advertises itself as a health food store? Perhaps the Big Macs and french fries can be donated to underweight people who need a few extra pounds, you know, people who are starving. Maybe, if all the starving people in the world got a diet of Big Macs and french fries we could end world hunger. Of course, the success of such a program would necessitate compelling over weight people to only eat at the new McDonalds health store chain.
We believe this man belongs in the story of unknown folk heroes who changed the course of human history.