Hitler Appears Before Parliament-Or Is It Murdoch?

After listening to the Murdochs defend themselves before a committee of Parliament, we thought it might be interesting to have such a session with Adolf Hitler

MP Herr Hitler, we have asked you to appear before this committee to discuss the Holocaust.

H Holocaust? I am sorry, but I am not familiar with that expression.

MP Herr Hitler, I am referring to the murder of six million Jews by members of German armed forces.

H I must remind members of Parliament that I was head of the German government, but in that capacity it was impossible for me to follow each and every detail of what was happening in the country.

MP Are you claiming no knowledge of the murder of Jews?

H Sir, some of my best friends were Jews. In fact, I served under a Jewish lieutenant. Are you telling me that something happened to Jews in Germany?

MP They were murdered. They were sent to death camps. Are you claiming no knowledge of death camps?

H All camps fell under the jurisdiction of Heinrich Himmler and the SS. You will have to ask him about these places.

MP So, you claim no knowledge of this mass murder?

H If you want to discuss mass murder, how about Allied bombing of German cities and the death of innocent civilians? I admit in war sometimes the innocent die, but we didn’t do anything worse than the Allies and the Russians.

MP So, Adolf Hitler had no knowledge of mass murder?

H I delegate authority and if you want to know about these camps or some deaths, please check with Himmler or camp officials.

MP Did it strike you as unusual that all Jews were gone from Germany?

H I thought they went to Palestine. I am the Chancellor, I am not responsible for every employee of the government.

MP Didn’t you make speeches which urged killing Jews?

H Every politician makes speeches. OK, so I admit on a few occasions to have been carried away. I didn’t do anything than what other politicians did. But, here I am before Parliament. Where are other political leaders who did just what I did?

MP So, you are innocent?

H Absolutely. Now, can I leave, Eva is waiting for me with the dogs. They must be walked.