We realize there are many graduates of Ivy League colleges who refuse to accept the importance to America have securing the Republican nomination for president to the most qualified candidate–Michele Bachmann. Oh, some criticize this intellectual giant for making a few mistakes about history or geography or that thing called, science. Well, as far as I know, Abraham Lincoln never took a science course, so why should Michele Bachmann?
The real question is how can she get the nomination. We offer these friendly tips to our beloved genius from Minnesota:
1. Michele should announce that if she IS elected president, all good Christians will ascend to Heaven within six months. Anyone who is not up there just is not a good Christian.
2. Michele should announce that if elected president she will go to Libya and Israel and talk with people in order to attain peace. Look, her presence in any nation would compel inhabitants to do whatever she wants in order to get her out of the country.
3. Michele should announce her energy plan that guarantees an end to reliance on oil–HORSES! Mounted on her horse, she will serve as a model for those who do not want American money going to Muslims.