How To End War In Afghanistan!

There are several ideas circulating in Afghanistan on ways to persuade Taliban soldiers to give up violence in exchange for more productive work. A Regional Consultative Jirga is identifying ways in which productive work experiences might persuade those who spend their days and nights killing and worrying about getting killed to try another line of work. Among ideas raised are working at road and bridge building, taking “Deradicalization Classes” and accepting jobs in another Muslim nation.
We have come up with our own version of jobs that might attract Taliban soldiers:
1. Being offered not only a trip to Disneyland, but a job at the amusement park.
2. Becoming a contestant on The American Idol.
3. Picking strawberries in California.
4. Shoveling shit for Rush Limbaugh.
5. Being the man who returns Sarah Palin winks with a wink.
6. Becoming mascot for the New York Knicks and enjoying losing every night.
7. Being a servant to John McCain and saying each day, “John, the Vietnam torture experience was worse than anything the Tea Party can do to you.
8. Getting a Facebook site with 1,000 friends.
9. Serving coffee at the Starbucks of their choice.
10, Designing car bombs for frustrated American Muslims who are tired of listening to the Tea Party rants.