“I Am The State,” Says Lukashenko!

Once upon a time in a far, far off land lived a nice kind and gentle King named Alexander Lukashenko. He wanted all people in the kingdom of Belarus to understand that he was a kind, kind, gentle man whose only thoughts were of things that were of concern to the people. In fact, he was so kind and loved by all that Alexander decided to allow the inhabitants of Belarus to come forth and cast their votes in a free and open manner in order to show the world that everyone thought he was kind. Unfortunately, there lived in the kingdom of Belarus some evil people who did not like their kind, kind, King and they decided to cast their votes for other men in the kingdom who did not like the kind, kind, king. What was King Alexander to do about this horrible crime of not liking him?? Since he knew the evil men had nothing but hate in their hearts for a man who had nothing in his heart but love, King Alexander had his loyal troops beat the hell out of those who were no kind. After all, if you are kind and others are not kind, there is nothing to do but teach them they must be kind and kind of vote for King Alexander.

An election was held and the kind, kind, King Alexander had those who ran against him to be beaten and locked in jail and charged with “organizing mass disorder.” After all, if you don’t vote for King Alexander, isn’t that a sign of disorder in your mind?

Hail to King Alexander, the man who understands that democracy means everyone has the right to vote for him!