I Awoke In Republican Heaven!

Last night in my troubled sleep I dreamed on awakening I was in a Republican Heaven led by a Republican God.

God is a white male with a white beard.

God only speaks in English, American English, that is.

Only those with birth certificates are allowed to enter.

Each person as he/she enters is given a rifle and handgun –for protection.

There are Gated communities and rich folk go to the right.

There is a statue of Rudy Giuliani who saved Heaven from terrorists.

Liberals and Democrats use the side entrance.

Garbage collection is handled by illegal immigrants in Heaven.

Concealed guns culminate in a daily shoot out at high noon. Loser goes to Hell.

Only Tea is served to honor the gallant Tea Party which saved America from Socialism.

Abortionists are aborted to Hell.

Fox News is the only available TV station.

There is a monthly keep the poor and shiftless out of Heaven rally.

There are NO TAXES. Of course, there is no money.

Wall Street operates a Hedge Fund against being sent to Hell.

The run down area is reserved for Democrats and liberals. Socialists head straight to Hell.

Sara Palin speeches are played daily.

Each sentence must include the expression, Under God, or you head down below.