If You Can’t Beat Them, Silence Them!

Silvio Berlusconi is under attack for his alleged philandering with women of the night, charges of corruption, and sundry other claims about a man who not only has a few billion in the bank, but possesses numerous TV stations and newspapers. OK, so he controls a good hunk of Italy’s media, but he has yet to gain control over media in other parts of the world. The prime minister has established a task force whose job is to monitor the world’s airwaves and news-stands and every time they encounter a negative story about Silvio, they are to respond with news concerning his wonderful qualities such as being an equal opportunity seeker after women from all nations.

Tourism Minister, Michela Brambilia said the first job of the task force will be to “monitor all the foreign press, including dailies, periodicals and TV in every latitude.” The second task will be to “bombard those newsrooms with truthful and positive news.”

I am receptive to positive news, and it might begin by identifying ways that you people could make my life happier.