Is There A Caner In The House?

The Malaysian government went through the process of trying a 32 year-old model, Kartika Sari Dewi, for the horrific crime of having a drink of alcohol and then discovered they had a problem– there was not a caner in the house who had the skills to flog a woman! The Home Minister said, “I have to admit we do not have experience in this case… I cannot allow it if we do not have the expertise.” Sharia law outlines procedures for the caning of a woman, and for some reason there is no one in Malaysia with those skills.

I am quite willing to give a few whacks for the right price. I promise not to break any skin or even make the woman cry out in pain. I think Malaysia needs to create a corps of “painless caners” who are ready to jump into action and pretend they are caning. In this way, caning occurs, no one is hurt, and it sends a vivid message to those who want to have a beer the consequence of that evil act is performing in a Kabuki performance of pretend caning.