Following are events that never will happen.

The New York Knicks will win an NBA championship.

The UN will have sufficient military power to crush tyrants.

Michelle Obama will go through a day without stooping.

Larry Summers will listen to a new economic idea with an open mind.

Rudy Giuliani will eat a piece of humble pie.

An episode of Law and Order will portray the team making more than one mistake.

Dick Cheney will reveal he cares about ordinary people rather than just wealthy ones.

Barack Obama will get through a day without appearing on a TV show.

George Bush will reveal where he hid the WMD.

Glenn Beck will actually make an intelligent remark supported by factual data.