Jaw On This Story

I am a modern human and accustomed to biting and eating and talking and doing things with my jaw. Researchers at Cambridge and in Toronto have discovered the first fish fossils which contained a primitive percusor of the jaw. According to scientists, “it was a major event in the evolution of vertebrates.After invention of the jaw, vertebrates were able to capture prey and eat them. Of course,after the jaw was invented it was simply a matter of time before humans could speak words and jabber away with profound thoughts. Consider the consequences:

1. No jaw,no Tea Party demanding ending immigration in America, of course, that would mean ending the United States of America given that we all are immigrants.
2. No Ted Cruz demanding action, some place with something –just don’t use American forces. Has he considered that we send illegal immigrants to fight in Iraq? Kills three problems-al-Qaeda, illegal immigration, and increases profits for gun companies.
3. No deadlock in Congress. After all, a deadlock means Republicans can rant and rave for days about something.
4. No Fox News and no cute,pert, blond haired girls who jabber away about something–you know, the stuff written on those cards!
5. It definitely would resolve the problem of obesity in America!