Job Openings In North Korea

The good news out of North Korea is the sudden openings for those seeking jobs under the rule of our beloved leader, Kim Jong-un. Last week uncle Jang Song –thaek was sitting pretty as the right hand man of his nephew, but then tidings of bad news arrived from the wise men who were on their yearly trip to Bethlehem to see the baby, Jesus. Thank God, Kim Jong-un, was able to inform the world that his uncle was guilty of fooling around with women, drugs and trying to take over the government. We can expect a few dozen pudgy little guys to shortly appear on the North Korea media with soldiers holding their arms as they are deported to the nearest firing squad. Thousands rush to a stadium to hail the chief, the all wise man, the leader of our glorious army which is destined to win many battles over someone.

I have offered my services in the hope of assisting the Great Leader to eliminate those who are not loyal. My qualifications– I am from the Bronx, I used to play handball with Joe Baldi, head of the Baldi mob and was smart enough to lose by two points each game. Certainly, I am the sort of guy that Kim Jong-un wants on his staff. I make the boss look good and always make certain to lose. Me, I am a natural born coward who has no aspirations for power. At age 83, it takes all my power to go shopping.

Anyway, I did know top gangsters, I am familiar with the gangster ethos of being loyal to the boss and I will not go near his woman.

How do I apply for one of the openings.

P.S. Being Jewish I can get you an introduction to Bibi Netanyahu.