Let’s All Secede!

President Vladimir Putin made clear to the Tatar minority in the Crimea they now are part of Russia, and keep your mouths shut. “Today we must all realize that the interests of the Crimean Tatars today are tied to Russia. The Tatars represent 12% of inhabitants of the Crimea and they are Sunni Muslim in contrast to the majority Christian population. As I pointed out the other day, Tatars were brutally persecuted under the regime of Joseph Stalin and thousands sent off to Asia during World War II. The new government, or should I say, the new stooges of Putin, have made clear there will not be any demonstrations in the coming months because that would impact the summer tourist trade.

Let me get a few things clear:

1. Putin insists the rights of regions in eastern Ukraine have the right to be independent since they prefer Russia as their homeland.
2. But, regions in the Crimea –12% of the people–who seek to remain part of Ukraine do NOT have that right because majority rule holds!

Anyway, here is some good news for those living in the Crimea, it has just been announced that President Vladimir Putin played in a hockey game against professional athletes. Despite the fact he only learned to skate five years ago, he dashed and pushed his way to score FIVE GOALS! I trust Crimea Tatars can now be happy knowing their new leader is not only a brave man, but a great hockey player!!