Life In Republican Land

It is the year 2015, and President Sarah Palin is celebrating the massive Republican victory in the election of 2012. American finally is being ruled by a conservative majority in all branches of government.

1. It is almost three years to the day when the Supreme Court by a 5 to 4 vote declared Sarah Palin president. Yes, she was behind in Florida by 150,000 votes, but Justice Scalia, speaking for the majority noted Obama had received 200,000 votes from illegal immigrants. He also made clear the fact Palin’s lawyer was his best man did not mean he had to excuse himself from the ruling.

2. Passage of Ann Ryand act now requires all members of Congress to prove they possess at least $5,000,000. The law was passed to prevent lazy poor people from influencing legislation.

3. The Protect Muslims From Muslim act now requires all Muslims to live in special areas of the country so they will not be influenced by radical ideas.

4. The Keep America Clean act now requires anyone receiving unemployment benefits to clean garbage bins by first eating all food found in them.

5. The End Death Panel law now forbids any doctor working with elderly patients who do not possess $1,000,000 to remain silent about medical treatment in order to allow them to handle their own bodies.

6. After assassination of three Democratic Senators by NRA members, the Protect Myself Against Socialism act now terms such events as justifiable killings in order to protect our nation.

7. President Palin just returned from a trip to Mexico where she informed the president of that nation that the US will now annex Mexico in accordance with the Treaty of 1848 that ended the war.

8. Vice President Michele Bachmann is still furious that on her trip to England she was not served limes. “They are limeys, aren’t they?” was her comment.

9. Secretary of State Mike Huckabee at a meeting with Israel and Palestinian leaders urged them to resolve their problems by displaying a good Christian attitude.

10. The “Save A Child For Christ” law now allows church groups to take children from those on welfare and have them work as maids in the church.

11. Justice Thomas ruled it was the original intention of our Founding Fathers that only conservatives can serve in Congress.

12. The “Kill A Commie for Christ” act allows anyone to kill a person who is suspected of being a Muslim militant.