Lukashenko Told To Send Detainees Home

Alexander Lukashenko is a man who believes in the divine right of kings, and guess who is the king. Under some pressure from the European Union, he decided to hold an election, a rare event for a man who rules without opposition. Much to his shock, opposing candidates attacked him and his policies. It was a shock to learn a “free election” means some people in Belarus can attack the supreme leader. Alexander the Great thought since he is Great, it would be great if opposing candidates roared their grateful appreciation for allowing them to run–and lose, of course. Once Alexander the Great realized people were speaking against him, and–believe it or not–VOTING AGAINST HIM! –what else could he do but beat the hell out of them. Naturally, he had to beat up and arrest those who ran against him.

Caught in the confusion were some Russian human rights supporters who got beaten and thrown in jail. Initially, President Dimitry Medvedev hailed the democratic election in Belarus. After a few days, the foreign office began to realize Russian citizens were in jail and sent a note about the situation. Anyway, things are again OK in Belarus. No more fooling around with elections and back to good OLF fashion democracy. That is, one man runs for public office and everyone has the freedom to vote for him.