Man Who Would Not Be King

There is a rumor going around that Bashar al-Assad has something to do with the government of Syria. In a recent interview with Barbara Walters he clarified this confusion. “There are military forces who belong to the government. I don’t own them. I’m president. I don’t own the country.” In fact, as he pointed out, “most people who have been killed are supporters of the government, not vice versa.
Assad does have a point. We decided to check with former Chancellor of Germany, Adolf Hitler, on the issue of who runs a government.

Me:  Chancellor Hitler, there are reports that you ordered the killing of Jews. Care to comment?

AH:   Once again, my enemies attempt to smear my good name. We have a war, people die in a war. I am certain, on occasion, a soldier has inadvertently killed someone of the Jewish faith.  I regret such actions, after all, some of my best friends are Jewish, not that I would marry one.

Me:  So, reports of this Holocaust are not accurate?

AH:   I am the Chancellor of Germany. I don’t own the troops. I don’t give orders to troops, their officers give orders. I don’t own Germany. There are people in Germany who do good or bad things. If you are concerned with bad things, talk to them. Why are you talking to me?

Me:  But, millions of Jews are being killed.

AH:  And, millions of Germans have been killed. Do you realize the  British and American air forces bomb Germany and kill innocent civilians! They should all be sent to jail for their atrocities.

Me:  What about atrocities against Jews?

AH:  There you go again, spreading stories from the Jewish press. Sorry, I am busy, I have to take care of the dogs.