Messiah Arrived In Tel Aviv

We all know the Messiah is returning and we all know he will come back to some place in Israel. Of course, there are people in the United States who believe the Messiah has returned and her name is Sarah Palin. After all, what is so crazy about a Messiah who can kill and skin a bear? Look, a woman who can gaze from her house and see miles away the shores of Russia is no ordinary broad. Sorry, Sarah, but there is a guy in the city of Tel Aviv who has a long beard and walks around in sandals and tells folk: “One year and two months ago, I was an ordinary person, and then a snake bit me in Bethlehem. And then I started to see God” and from that encounter he was officially designated by God himself to be the messiah. His initial task is to persuade people to give more to others and take less. He still has yet to decide if he is Jesus or someone else. He did leave a message on God’s phone and is awaiting a response. Of course, if you wander around Israel there are several people who claim to be the Messiah.

I have a hunch Sarah is following this story very closely. It would be wonderful if she could become the first Messiah from Alaska. God, it would send her book sales zooming and fees for speaking engagements would soar to over a $100,000 per. Wait a second. I just received an email from someone who claims to be a Messiah from Nigeria. If I just send him some dough, my certificate as a Messiah will follow in the mail.