Mitt Sweeps Puerto Rico

After becoming the overwhelming winner in the Guam Republican primary, it is clear that Mitt Romney is on a roll. He added another plum by taking a majority of votes in Puerto Rico. Of course, in order to ensure this great victory, Mitt promised not to enforce immigration laws against those from Puerto Rico. When told Puerto Ricans were Americans, Mitt responded in Spanish to make certain everyone knew he could speak the language. It is reported he came out with a clear,”Si.” Mitt made clear he is not against illegal immigrants, but he is against illegal immigrants who might be terrorists.

Rick Santorum is a bit upset after being told his demand that English be made the official language of the island people on grounds they must conform with the Constitution, he was informed that idea is not in the Constitution. Rick replied: “three years under the Muslim Obama has led to changes in our Constitution.”

There are unconfirmed reports that Romney spent spare time spreading the world of the Mormon religion. He also made certain that all dead famous Puerto Ricans were baptized in the Mormon religion. If he can’t win those alive, he is damn well certain to win the vote of dead Puerto Ricans!