Mother Russia Goes To Sea

I am an avid follower of our great Russian leader, the bare chested hero of countless battles against the evil of homosexuality and those who refuse to recognize that Father Putin is simply the father of all Russians. For example, there are no Russian troops in the Crimea but some men stole Russian uniforms, quickly learned how to speak Russian and somehow gained control of Russian made rifles. None of this was done with the permission of Father Vladimir, the man of peace and the man who brings peace to the people of Ukraine. I contacted Father Vladimir, and asked him about these reports from the Crimea, and seizure of ships. This is his response:

“Fred, my child, do not be deceived by the CIA and British intelligence, just because some men dress in Russian uniforms, speak in Russian and carry Russian rifles does not mean they are Russians. They could be anyone. I suspect they are CIA agents out to slander the nation of Russia by claiming we are using violence when all we are doing is coming to the aid of our brothers and sisters.”

He also made clear that Russia was not like the United States where there is prejudice against black skinned people and lynchings just about every day. In Mother Russia, those with dark skin are allowed to live in the south because they are not happy in the cold north.