MY CONVERSATION WITH GOD

Excuse me, I don’t want to bother you, but is this the place in the sky and are you the headman, God, that is?

And, you are?

Fred Stopsky, from planet Earth.

Which planet Earth? I have to supervise so many, it gets confusing.

The one that is third planet from the sun.

Oh, that Earth.

I was wondering what Michele Bachmann calls you when she has her conversations with you?

Michele who?

Bachmann, Bachmann, she says the two of you guys have weekly conversations.

Oh, you mean, HER! The Angels and I often talk about her. Tell me, is she as annoying to Earth creatures as she is to us?

But, she claims to constantly talk to you and you tell her things like when it is the end of planet Earth.

Fred, getting a word in when she talks requires Godly powers. My problem is I am lost when she talks. Tell me, do Earth people really believe if you fire people from jobs it leads to more jobs?

She claims wealthy people are “job creators” and if they have more money, they will create more jobs.

Wealthy people, who are they?

You know, people with lots of money and lots of power.

Oh them, well, they don’t have contact with me, but you can check downstairs. They are fully and gainfully employed shoveling either coal or shit down there.

But, Michele and Sarah Palin, they…

Hold on a second. Do you know that Sarah person?

Yes, she wants to be president of my country.

Son, you look like a fairly sensible person. If you jokers elect her president, I am sure we Gods will have to expel the human race from the universe race of thinking people.

So, there are many Gods?

For God’s sake, do you think one God can wander the infinite space. Particularly when each week I have an email from your idiot woman down there.

So, are you saying Michele lies?

This woman wouldn’t know the difference between a lie or the truth. Why don’t you pay to send her to the planet of Xul, they know how to handle nut cases.

Thanks, Big Guy. Now, the problem is getting her to this Xul.