A NASA telescope has discovered a planet which lies outside of our solar system which has all the ingredients necessary to have life evolve. After examining the pictures, we are now able to confirm there is no sign on this planet of any member of the Republican party. Apparently, this planet has all signs of intelligent life forms which automatically eliminates Republicans from being inhabitants of this planet.
We discussed the planet –whose name will henceforth be XUL– with members of its ruling council. They have never spoken with God, they have no concept of illegal immigrants since they welcome all intelligent life forms to their planet. Sorry, Herman, Newt, Mitt, Rick Rick and Michele, neither of you characters are allowed within seeing distance of this planet.
Actually, M, the life form who discussed the planet, told us they found weird an idea which states firing life forms creates new jobs for life forms. Their economists are baffled by Earth logic. Anyway, any and all Republican candidates are not welcome on this planet.
Excuse me, a new report. A gorilla in Africa claims to have had a personal relationship with Herman Cain. Herman denies providing bananas to the gorilla but also inquired if the animal was male or female.