National Security Agency Still Secure

New revelations indicate the National Security Agency was busily engaged in thwarting foreign terrorists for years in places where few Americans would have thought to check. The most prominent United Nation children group, UNICEF, was, in reality, the center of Muslim terrorists who were seeking to gain control of funds destined for children who were sick or in need of food. Due to the diligence of brave American counter-espionage agents, al Qaeda and other such organizations were not able to gain control of distribution of milk to children. Who knows how many lives were saved because the plots of MUSLIM TERRORISTS to gain control of Christmas card sales for UNICEF activities were prevented! Oh, but that was merely one small piece of the brilliant counter-espionage activities by out wonderful National Security Agency. Medecins du Monde is a famous French organization which has sent doctors into violent areas of the world in order to care for people whose society is engaged in violent wars. This organization of doctors who are not concerned about politics, but only focuses on helping those in need of health assistance was investigated by the NSA-for reasons still unknown to any sane person on this planet.

President Obama has plans to issue a “firm statement” sometime soon which will assure all Americans that our beloved NSA is still on guard to protect us against UNICEF thieves seeking to gain control of the UNICEF Xmas card sale program! Sleep tight, the NSA is on guard, day and night.