New Sport Needed

Another normal day in America. You know, the land of violence and death in which each person has the Constitutional right to kill anyone who gets him angry about something. Another day in America in which a drone flying some place in the world spots someone who must be killed that day. Another normal day in America in which some kids at school decide to bully and harass a lonely child in order to make certain she is a lonely child. Another day in America in which Ted Cruz, graduate of Harvard, displays the ignorance usually associated with children who went to “failing schools.” Another day in America in which we cut food for the poor while proclaiming our love for Jesus Christ. Another day in America in which an elderly person chooses from having a healthy meal or having a healthy dose of medicine.

The time has come to organize these norman days. We propose creating a new sport. The name of the sport is “just do your normal thing.” People will purchase lottery tickets and the top three winning numbers will be allowed to:

1. Kill someone for Christ.

2. Blow up a school-only, if it has children in it.

3. Shoot a job destroyer for America.

The winners get a shot on TV and they can sing or dance in joy.