We offer some New Years Resolutions to the following:
The Republican Party is wished to obtain a concern for those without a million dollars in their bank account.
Mitt Romney is wished to never, never again seek public office.
Fox News is wished to have a media commentator who is aware that Barack Obama won the election.
The New York Yankees are wished to have players not eligible for Social Security payments this year.
Mayor Bloomberg is wished to drink a 16 once drink without feeling guilty.
Vladimir Putin is wished to have a statue built which depicts him with raised arms blessing Russians for having him rule them.
China is wished to have the Confucius wisdom to end its dictatorship.
UK Prime Minister David Cameron is wished to follow the actions of America and end austerity as the rule of thumb for governing.
President Morsi is wished to remember his days in America when he lived with people who practiced a different form of democracy.
Jewish West Bank settlers are wished to begin acting like Jews.
Donald Trump is wished to secure a copy of his birth certificate in order to prove that he once in life was not full of bullshit.
The New York Knicks are wished to finally win the NBA championship.