Newt Gringrich Acts Like A Newt

Newt Gingrich was formerly Speaker of the House until he sort of got pushed off to the side by fellow Republicans for fouling up their chances during the 1990s. Well, since then, Newt has transformed himself into a speaking prop for Fox News. After all, he used to be a college teacher which means he has actually read some books. Well,Newt decided since everyone at Fox News was hammering away at Hillary Clinton, it was time to get into this theatrical production. Karl Rove sort of took over the stuff about Hillary being mentally incapacitated or on drugs or something. So, Newt had to find a new angle.

Newt has concluded that Hillary Clinton is not much of a dancer. As everyone knows, once one becomes president, there are dances to attend, and how would this nation look in the eyes of the world, if our president was not graceful on the dance floor. After intensive thinking, Newt decided to give the world a bird’s eye view of how Bill Clinton viewed his wife on the dance floor. “You have to understand the problem Bill has. Bill is to politics what Fred Astaire(great dancer a few decades ago) is to dancing, he is automatically amazing and, you know, he wants to have a Ginger Rogers(famous movie dancer) who’s out their dancing as Fred Astaire did. Instead with Hillary is like watching Kim Kardashian get kicked off the lot by Prince because she couldn’t dance.”

I assume that Newt will insist the 2016 Republican candidate be a great dancer.