Nobody Asked Me But,

Each week we explore the human condition without any pretence of objectivity or proof. These are the feelings and ramblings of a 77 year-old American male.

Doubt is a stanger who has never knocked on the door of Bush’s house.

I passed a lawn equipment store which had a sign in the window: “Jesus Is The Lord.” I always thought God, not Jesus, made grass.

I have never been in a high school in which students are not animated and excited as they exit a classroom but quiet and passive when they enter.

I take advantage of all senior citizen discounts. And, I buy hamburger buns at a discount bakery shop. I am simply unable to shake my Depression childhood.

Why is it if I see a young woman wearing a black leather jacket I assume she belongs to a motorcycle gang?

I read a story about concern in the Czech Republic because its lawmakers can ride for free on buses. Gosh, I wish that was the major American concern about our lawmakers getting free things.

I feel a void in my life n Sunday afternoons in March since there are no NFL games and the baseball season has yet to begin.

Is Pee Wee Herman still alive?

It’s strange how I feel hearing about the death of Charlton Heston. I know he is an ignorant man who loves the NRA but I can’t stop worrying about the death of Moses.

I wear a hearing aid. I am taking up a collection to get one for Hillary Clinton so she won’t mishear again.

Why do Catholic schol girls still wear uniforms? I know originally they had something to do with all girls dressing alike so girls from poor families would not feel embarrassed. But, today, the vast majority of girls attending Catholic schools are middle or upper class girls.

I cannot recall the last time I saw a nun in traditional dress on the streets. Have you recently seen one?

Baseball is the only sport which lacks a time limit so, theoretically, a baseball game can go on into infinity.

I enjoy sitting in the early afternoon in a fast food restaurant sipping a hot cup of coffee because it is so quiet.

Do you realize we are approaching seven years in the fight in Afghanistan? Hell, American involvement in WWII was less than four years. But, then again, we didn’t have Bush as president.

I think John McCain should select a certified coward as his vice-presidential running mate. We will then avoid further arguments about McCain’s “military experience.” As I recall he spent a good part of his time in the miltary as a prisoner. He was brave while a prisoner but that hardly qualifies as obtaining military experience.

How about McCain selecting Dan Quayle as his runnng mate. I can just hear his Democratic opponent glaring at Quayle and saying: “I knew Bill Clinton, and you sure aren’t a Bill Clinton!” Naturally the reference would be to the sexual prowess of the former president.

Two year old children never stop moving or asking questions. That is, until they get sent to nursery school.

I drive my children crazy because if I drop a piece of food on the ground I pick it up and put it into my mouth. They don’t understand that dirt germs lead to health.

I have been following the case of the New York shooting by police of three African American males who were leaving a nightclub. One of the policeman insisted he was frightened for his life and that’s why he fired twenty builets. But, none of the men had any weapons! They were just completing celebrating a man headed for marriage.

My first act as dictator of America will be forbidding any educator or politician to use the word, “reform.” Making children take more tests is not “reform,” it is making children take more tests.

I saw a boy wearing a tee shirt which said: “Zoo York,” was that a compliment or an insult?

I watched a girl for over the course of an hour during which time she never ceased having something in her ear either to use for talking or listening. If I was you , I’d invest my money in hearing aid companies.

When I was a boy the expresion was: “If you wish to always win a bet, then bet on Joe Louis, Notre Dame or the New York Yankees.” What would be the modern equivalent?

Boys with long hair stll make me turn my head. I am a product of being raised during WWII when all young men in the service had short hair. I assume short hair is normal. Of course, these past few years I have allowed my hair to grow. The idea of paying $15 instead of fifty cents for a hair cut makes me go for longer hair.