Nobody Asked Me But,

Each week, we review events of the world through the eyes of a 77 year old independent spirited perspective. There is no attempt to be “accurate” since these are observations on life.

As dictator of America I will mandate all roadwork is done between the hours of midnight and 4:00 a.m.

Anytime I come across an open box of kleenex for the taking, I take a few. I am a Depression child and if it is free, grab it.

I expect toilet paper to come down, not up. What is your perspectve?

I cannot draw at all. I never would have been a teacher in 60,000 B.C.

Why do I assume tall women are intelligent?

John McCain never saw a flag he would not wrap himself around.

What would aliens make of humans who went around with name tags?

Barack Obama makes rookie mistakes. It is normal.

I enjoy waiting in waiting rooms. After all, they are waiting rooms.

I have never lived in an America that is so cynical about life.

Money is not the root of evil, it is the root of fear.

I am emotionally incapable of hating anyone for more than 24 hours.

Hillary Clinton works hard at presenting herself as “tough.” In the process, she warps the tender part of her being. In my native south Bronx, no one works at being tough, you are or you are not.

As Dictator of America I will make it illegal to lock doors to restrooms. I believe in equal opportunity to shit and piss.

The politician I miss most in life is Fiorello La Guardia, who was mayor of New York in the thirties and forties. Each Sunday morning he discussed the week and if he made a mistake would say: “When I make a mistake, it’s a beaut.” He would also answer questions from citizens. I vividly recall one from a girl named Mary who said her father drank up his pay check and naturally, Fiorello responded: “Look, you bum, I’m sending a cop to meet you on pay day and walk you home to make certain you give the pay to the missus.” And, when the city newspapers went on strike, he read the comics every day to the children, and with passion. Today, politicians are the comics.

A woman asked me directions to the Salvation Army and I lacked them. I guess God missed out on another saved soul.

Leaders of Africa will denounce colonialism at the drop of a hat to explain away their problems but they sure keep quiet when Robert Mugabe oppresses the people of Zimbabwe.

I ofen wonder what will be the next fast food craze. I am certain it will have somethng to do with health.

How come there are no security guards at fast food outlets? Then again, how exactly could someone poison food at McDonalds?

I was sitting in a deserted theater lobby waiting for someone. There is something mystical about being in a theater, one awaits the unexpected.

Do any office buildings still have elevator operators? I miss talking with them.

I really want to trust the integrity of John McCain, but the man hungers for power too much. When we seek power, we, in one way or another, make a pact with the Devil that entails sellilng our soul.

I know that I am close to downtown St. Louis when I encounter locked front doors of office buildings.

If I was a woman I would castrate anyone who referred to me as “Mr. & Ms. John Smith.”

It is God’s commandment when putting on shoes and socks, one puts on both socks and then both shoes. It is a violation of God’s will to put on a sock, then a shoe, then a sock, then a shoe. If you doubt me, check with God.

The two roads in my lie not taken that I regret s being a folk singer or being an actor. I love to sing even though as a child they put me in the “listener section” of the P.S. 50 auditorium claiming I had a terrible voice. Yes, my friends, in those days we were separated by voice ability!

What is the legacy you wish to leave your own children? Mine is, be onery, blunt and honest in all things and believe in the people’s common sense.

Peace and Love

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