NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a twenty year old mind trapped in an 80 year old body.

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

I never met a member of the Tea Party who could actually pass a test on the US Constitution.

The invention of backpacks for children has created a new industry in back pain medicine.

I wonder why God allowed hate to be part of the human mind.

Every time I see a gorgeous girl with a gorgeous smile, I sigh in nostalgia.

I mentally undress beautiful women. Is that rape?

Heaven for me is living on a planet inhabited by life forms who possess love in their hearts.

Someone asked me: “Who are you?” I replied; “A man alone with his thoughts.”

Mystery of life: How some humans never become infected with the virus of hate.

I am always amazed how our minds visualize doing something that never actually occurs.

There is something about the presence of a cop in a diner that makes me feel safe.

As a small boy I never knew that teachers went to the toilet.

The smaller child always gazes in wonder at the older child.

If Hitler was alive today he would be a commentator on Fox News and then head off for a book tour.

A man who wears a black hat should not wear a black shirt with it.

A father feels pride when his child picks up the check.

In 2010 America I feel like a stranger in a strange land.

Never go against a gut feeling.

A baseball player involved in contract negotiations refers to his best years, not to the last year.

My dream is to go to sleep and awake on a planet inhabited by intelligent life forms.

Obama always offers explanations. As General Patton used to say about being on the offense: “le audace, toujours le audace.”

A child feels grown up taking mom out to breakfast.

How many times in life did I turn right instead of left?