NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

We offer observations on the human condition from a 20 year old mind trapped in an 80 year old body.

Nobody Asked Me But

I sometimes feel as though I am the “ancient one” in a world of barbarians.

Tiny children love shaking hands.

I wonder if people in Heaven dream.

Today, Americans have shifted the nightmare they endured in sleep to their lives while awake.

It is twenty years since I used my skills in stealing comic books.

Some hold the coffee cup high, some hold it low. I hold it in-between

“Who Among Us Can Cast the First Stone?” Any member of the Republican party in Congress.

God made certain little children smile. Too bad he couldn’t do the same for adults.

Anger is the badge of honor for those in the Tea Party.

If there was a Nobel prize for ignorance, Glenn Beck would win it hands down.

On John McCain’s death bed his last thoughts will be, “why, oh why, did I select that idiot to run with me?”

W.C. Fields, a great comedian a hundred years ago, used to say, “never give a sucker an even break.” That is now the slogan of the Republican party. A tax rate of 39% destroys the nation, but a top tax rate of 36% leads to prosperity!

I wonder if little Catholic girls in heaven wear plaid skirts.

Age makes difficult eating a bagel in one meal.

I am a man who spends his life with people, but is never with them.

The current crop of members of Congress are most like the body of 1860 who caused secession and the Civil War.

John Kennedy has a powerful sex drive. Barack Obama has a “please like me” drive.

Few women wear lots of jewelry in the morning.

Great Presidents seek respect, regardless of the cost.

It is unusual for mom to surpass daughter in beauty.

The only time I blank in writing is when my mouth is full.

I wonder, as a young boy, could I place my left foot under my body?

I am biased. I assume girls from Catholic schools are good students and assume Jewish girls in high school don’t “do it.”

I wonder how and why people abandon an early prejudice.

To run out of words either indicates intelligence of ignorance.

An elderly woman entering IHOP alone at 5:00 p.m. is a widow.

I wonder what the sound of universal peace would sound like.

I have never talked with Jesus. Neither have you.

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